Perspectives
by Lady Arreya
Summary: Takes place after the episode "Scientific Method." Harry feels neglected by his two best friends after they finally get together. P/T, K/7.


Originally written Oct 1998

Title: Perspectives  
Rating: K+  
Summary: Takes place after the episode "Scientific Method." Harry feels neglected by his two best friends after they finally get together. P/T, K/7.

* * *

Ensign Harry Kim sat alone in the mess hall eating dinner. He poked at his pleeka rind casserole listlessly. Ordinarily, it was one of his favorites, but at the moment he just didn't have an appetite for anything. He was too busy feeling sorry for himself. He absentmindedly picked up his mug of coffee and held it for a moment, reflecting on what had just happened. Harry knew that Tom and B'Elanna had just gotten together recently and wanted to spend as much time as possible with each other. He tried to think positively about it. _It's about time they got together,_ he mused. _I'm happy for the two of them, I really am. How could I not be happy that two of my best friends have finally found the love and companionship that they've been looking for all their lives, especially after having had so much unhappiness? And that they've found it with each other is even better. Considering what the two of them put me through when they first met, it's a miracle. They were always at each other's throats, suspicious of each other. They never would have gotten to be friends if I hadn't forced them to tolerate each other for my sake. I remember when B'Elanna used to call Tom a pig. Well, she still does on occasion, but only out of affection. She used to really mean it._

Harry set his coffee down without taking a sip. His mind was racing with all these thoughts as it tried to convince him that he should be congratulating himself for having such an important role in getting his two best friends together instead of feeling sorry for himself. It had taken those two such a long time for them to develop a real friendship. And now they were spending all of their time together... and neglecting Harry. That was the problem.

He felt as though the strong friendship between the three of them had changed drastically. The dynamics of their relationships were so different now. In the beginning, he had told himself that nothing would change that much, that he would still be close friends with both Tom and B'Elanna despite their romantic involvement with each other. He had almost managed to convince himself that things didn't have to change. But now he realized that he had just been deluding himself. It didn't work that way. No matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise, he couldn't deny that things had changed. There was just no avoiding that. He could no longer expect to spend as much time with either person, as much as he wanted to. Tom and B'Elanna wanted to spend a lot of their free time together, just the two of them. Which was perfectly understandable, but that was free time that they used to spend with Harry. He grimaced. He supposed he would just have to get used to it. There wasn't anything he could do about that. He was happy for them and wanted them to be able to have quality time together. They deserved to be happy. He missed them, but it wasn't as though he wanted them to break up or anything.

Suddenly, he sat up, frowning, as that disturbing thought occurred to him. What would happen if they ever did really break up? They were both so volatile. _It's always potentially dangerous when two of your best friends start going out with each other,_ he mused. _When everything is fine between them, it leaves you out, but when everything is not fine between them, you get dragged into the middle. You have to either mediate or take sides. Or at least, it feels that way. They complain about the other to you, which is rather uncomfortable because you don't want to be disloyal to either person. You want to be a good friend to both of them, but you don't know how._ Harry recalled an incident a few months ago, even before they had started seeing each other exclusively, when Tom and B'Elanna had gotten into a major argument. Both had come to him, complaining about the other, as usual. Of course, he thought that Tom had been utterly tactless in telling B'Elanna that she was "hostile," even in the heat of anger, but Harry also had to admit that there was some truth to that accusation. B'Elanna did have a tendency to lose her temper, especially when dealing with Tom. That was partially because Tom provoked her, but Harry had noticed that B'Elanna reacted more strongly, more defensively, to Tom's challenges than to anyone else's. Harry had seen the reasons for that a long time ago. Those two were too much alike, and they cared about each other considerably, more than they'd cared to admit to themselves or anyone else. _You don't fight like that with someone you don't care about, _Harry thought_. If you didn't care, you'd get annoyed, but you'd let it go because you wouldn't care enough about the other person to make it worth arguing about._ But Tom and B'Elanna cared a lot about what the other thought, and that irked them. They didn't want to care so much, but they did. Harry had clearly seen all that ages ago. But he hadn't said anything, except for the occasional hint, for fear of getting seriously injured. It wasn't his place to interfere like that. He had hoped that they would see it too, someday, but he hadn't been able to do anything else about it. He wasn't there to play matchmaker. It was about time that they finally realized it for themselves, Harry thought.

He sighed. _But what if they ever break up?_ the nagging voice continued to ask. He shuddered. He had a feeling that if that ever happened, he would get dragged into it somehow. It would be messy, to say the least. He didn't want to lose either of them, ever. But how could you be understanding and a good friend to either person in that kind of situation? He couldn't push the idea out of his mind. He kept conjuring up terrible scenarios and possibilities. _What if they try to use me as a go-between again and try to resolve their problems that way?_ he asked himself anxiously. _That happens a lot when you're friends with both people and they start fighting. They use you to communicate. Or not. Sometimes they use you to get back at the other one. Which is probably the worst kind of situation anyone could possibly be in. And then there's the resentment. How could there not be resentment? How do you stay friends with both people without going completely crazy? You feel so torn..._

Harry was getting a headache from thinking about all this. _Stop it!_ he chastised himself. _Think positively. Be optimistic. Don't think about them breaking up. They've been perfectly fine so far, despite the occasional disagreement. They seem completely committed to each other. They're probably going to even end up getting married one of theses days and have lots of kids. They'll be happy together for the rest of their lives,_ he told himself, rubbing his temples. _But what about me?_ a little voice inside his head cried out. His love life was less than spectacular, he reminded himself despondently. He should be worrying about himself. _Am I destined to be alone for the rest of my life?_ he despaired. _Because it certainly feels that way._ Harry stabbed at his pleeka rind casserole, completely discouraged. He didn't know why he was still sitting here thinking about it when he really should be in his quarters sleeping instead. He was exhausted.

It had been an eventful day, what with the alien scientists using the crew as guinea pigs, the numerous casualties and injuries that resulted from the DNA mutations, and Voyager barely escaping through a binary pulsar. Harry shook his head, thinking about the experiments that the aliens had run on them. B'Elanna had almost died when the alveoli in her lungs had stopped processing oxygen, a result of the aliens' manipulations. Harry remembered how Tom had frantically worked to save her, a haunted, desperate look in his eyes. And now that the crisis was finally over... Harry had figured that his two best friends would be cherishing their time together. They both had such busy schedules that they didn't get to spend nearly as much time together as they would like. It was always difficult to maintain a romantic relationship, but when both people were senior officers on a starship like Voyager, it made it even more complicated. He could understand that. But he still felt left out. He sighed again, replaying the scene in his mind once more...

He knew that he really shouldn't interrupt them, but he missed their company. The three of them used to spend a lot of time together. They were all such close friends. In fact, they were his best friends. And he missed them. So he asked the computer their location and then made his way to Tom's quarters with resolve, grabbing the data PADD that Tom had let him borrow earlier as an afterthought. He arrived at Tom's door and paused a long moment before ringing the door chime a little apprehensively. No answer. Determined not to give up, he rang again. A moment later, the door whooshed open to reveal Tom and B'Elanna, who were both rather dressed up and just starting on dinner. It was a very intimate, romantic setting, and Harry definitely felt like he was intruding. But all he could do was just stand there and smile nervously. Harry finally managed to stammer out his greetings to the impatient pair, who were clearly not too thrilled about the interruption. He wagered that it wasn't the first, judging from Tom's expression. "Harry, I'm not home," Tom said firmly, shooting him a glare that let him know he was treading in dangerous territory. Harry felt a twinge of guilt. He lamely finished with, "I, uh, ... I ...just wanted to return this," handing Tom the data PADD. Harry had just enough time to inhale the fragrant aroma of dinner and comment on it before Tom snatched the PADD out of his hand with a quick "thanks," and promptly closed the door on him. Harry was left standing there feeling foolish. He stood there in shock for a moment, then shook his head in disbelief. He hadn't really expected Tom to actually shut the door in his face like that, but he supposed he had deserved it, he thought ruefully. It had been bad judgment on his part, his own fault. He really shouldn't have interrupted their time together, seeing as how they had so little of it since they were both so busy. But he just couldn't help it. Part of him wished that it could be like it used to, the three of them hanging out all the time. But these days, when it was the three of them, Harry always felt like the third wheel. _Maybe I should get a girlfriend, too, then at least the four of us could double-date,_ he mused. Though he wasn't all that sure that Tom and B'Elanna would like double-dating anymore than hanging out with just him.

He also couldn't help feeling a little miffed. _I mean, after all they've put me through, the least they could do is spend a little more time with me,_ he thought self-pityingly. He felt so neglected. Perhaps that was part of the reason he was so hung up on Seven. Not that she wasn't incredible or anything. She was. But Harry was just feeling so lonely these days. _It'd be so nice to have a companion, someone to share life's little moments with,_ he thought. _Someone like Seven. _Harry sighed. He was having a difficult time getting through to her, though. And he'd thought that Tom and B'Elanna had gotten off to a rough start! he laughed sardonically to himself, contemplating the irony of it all. He shook his head, remembering the advice he had received regarding the beautiful ex-Borg. He knew that B'Elanna disapproved of his infatuation with Seven. Tom had urged caution as well, seeming almost amused by Harry's enthusiasm. Harry knew that they were right, but he just couldn't get her out of his mind. She was so beautiful, so intelligent, and he loved her subtle sense of humor. It had been such a long time since he had felt like this about anyone. He had given up on ever seeing Libby again a long time ago. _She must have moved on by now,_ he often told himself. _I should do the same._ But there hadn't really been anyone for him to move on with until now. He didn't want to get together with someone just for the sake of having a girlfriend. He wanted it to be real, genuine. He had been infatuated with that holodeck character Marayna, but she wasn't exactly relationship material. Especially since she had turned out to be a lonely alien infatuated with Tuvok. Aside from a disastrous date with Jenny Delaney and various encounters with alien women, some of which had tried to kill him, Harry hadn't gone out with anyone since he'd been on Voyager. Actually, this was true of most of the senior officers on Voyager, he realized. That made him feel a bit better, that most everyone else that he worked with wasn't romantically involved with anyone either. It would have been more unbearable if he were surrounded by happy couples. But that didn't seem to be the case. Tuvok was married, of course, but that didn't count since his wife was in the Alpha Quadrant. Commander Chakotay had been involved with a former Borg woman, Riley, but that was about it. He seemed to be more than slightly interested in Captain Janeway, who seemed to reciprocate but never did anything about it. Neelix hadn't been involved with anyone since Kes. And even Tom and B'Elanna hadn't gone out with anyone before they started seeing each other. The Doctor was the only one who seemed to be having consistent success in the romance department, Harry realized, smiling grimly at the irony_. The Doc's had more girlfriends than the rest of us guys collectively,_ Harry thought to himself with amazement. _And now he's even married. With children._ That was slightly disturbing. Although he had never fancied himself a ladies' man as Tom had, Harry still found it disconcerting to be outclassed by a hologram when it came to romantic pursuits. _I have to do something to change that,_ he resolved.

He looked up when he realized that Seven had just entered the Mess Hall. She looked gorgeous as usual. Harry felt his spirits rise somewhat. Perhaps this wasn't a total loss after all, being here in the Mess Hall eating by himself. He had an excellent opportunity to get to know her better right now. He hadn't really talked to her since that time... well, that time that she had told him to take his clothes off... he recalled with embarrassment. _But that was just a little misunderstanding,_ he told himself. Wasn't it? He hoped so. This was salvageable. It had to be.

"Hi, Seven," he greeted her enthusiastically. Seven acknowledged him and sat down at the table, contemplating Neelix's latest culinary masterpiece.

"I am unfamiliar with this form of nourishment," she said, still staring at it.

"Pleeka rind casserole," said Harry. "It's my favorite." Seven looked at him, at her plate, then back to him inquiringly, almost skeptically. Pleeka rind casserole wasn't all that aesthetically pleasing. Fortunately, for Seven, aesthetics were irrelevant.

"Quite a day, wasn't it," Harry said, trying to make conversation. Seven merely shrugged slightly in response since she had just taken a rather large bite of the casserole. Apparently, she liked it too. _We're probably the only two people on this ship who do,_ thought Harry, remembering Tom's complaints about it. The thought that they had something in common, even something as minor as liking pleeka rind casserole, made Harry absurdly happy for some reason.

He gazed at her for a silent moment, feeling somewhat awkward as he racked his brain for something to say. He wanted to tell her incredible, how heroic she had been today, revealing the aliens' plot to all them with the help of the Doctor. But the words stuck in his throat. He had to be careful what he said around her; she made him nervous, and he usually ended up sounding like an incoherent, bumbling idiot. Was this how Tom had felt when he had been pursuing B'Elanna? Harry wondered. Probably. No wonder he had kept putting his foot in his mouth. Harry hadn't ever been able to figure out why smooth-talking ladies' man Tom Paris would always say such stupid things and act like such an idiot around B'Elanna. But now he understood, being in the same situation with Seven. He was feeling much more sympathetic now. _Maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him, _he realized guiltily. Not that Tom needed his sympathy anymore; he was doing just fine with B'Elanna these days. It was Harry who needed help. He just didn't know what to say to Seven. Seven seemed so detached and unreachable most of the time, but also vulnerable. She still had a difficult time socializing and didn't have many friends. The transition from Borg to human couldn't be easy, Harry thought. He tried to imagine what it would be like to go from hearing all the voices of the Borg collective to being an individual. It seemed terrifying. No wonder Seven didn't know what to do. Harry just wanted to reach out to her. He could empathize. He'd been feeling rather lonely lately as well. And he had a lot of friends on board, even if he wasn't as close to them as he was to Tom and B'Elanna. Seven didn't really seem to have any friends. Watching Seven, Harry suddenly remembered a conversation that they had while working on the Astrometrics lab. He had asked her what she did for fun in her free time. She hadn't known what he meant by "fun." She had merely responded, "I regenerate in my alcove, I study the Starfleet database, and I contemplate my existence." A very lonely existence for anyone, but especially for someone who had once been part of the Borg collective, where you were never alone, thought Harry. He studied her intently, wondering what she was thinking about. Her expression was difficult to read. She seemed to want to learn about human social skills but uncomfortable with it at the same time. It didn't help that most people on board were uncomfortable around her. Including him, at times. But Harry hoped that they would be able to become good friends eventually.

"Ensign Kim, I wish to learn more about human social customs," she stated seriously. Harry snapped out of his reverie and stared at her, slightly startled at this sudden request.

"Okay," he said at last. "I'll do my best to help. What would you like to know about?" He hoped that she wouldn't ask him anything too embarrassing, considering that they were still in the middle of the Mess Hall, within earshot of everyone should they choose to listen to their conversation.

She frowned slightly, then looked back at him. "I am attempting to gain a better understanding of human friendships and romantic relationships," she informed him matter-of-factly. "Am I correct in my assumption that you wish to pursue a friendship with me?"

"Of course I'd like to be friends with you, Seven," he reassured her.

"And beyond friendship?"

"Well... I don't know," he stammered, shifting uneasily. He wasn't sure he liked where this conversation was headed. What was she trying to get at?

"Ensign?" She tilted her head, still studying him intently.

"It's too soon to tell, Seven. Maybe someday... in the future," he replied cautiously.

"Do you find me unattractive?" she persisted. Harry looked taken aback.

"No, of course not. I think you're very attractive."

"Then why did you previously reject me?"

Harry shook his head, somewhat overwhelmed. He thought about how best to answer that.

"Seven, relationships don't develop overnight," he explained patiently. "They take a lot of time, effort, and commitment to work out."

"I see," she said slowly, looking thoughtful. A long pause ensued. Harry took a few bites of his pleeka rind casserole in the uncomfortable silence, wondering what he had gotten himself into. Seven continued to eat as well, still studying him. Finally, she asked, "Whom do you consider to be your closest friends, Ensign?" Harry smiled, relieved to hear an easy question at last.

"Tom and B'Elanna are my closest friends," he told her.

"But Lts. Paris and Torres are romantically involved with each other," she said, seemingly puzzled. "I have observed that when humans couples pair off, they spend time with each other almost exclusively."

Harry fell silent again, trying to sort out all the complex thoughts and emotions he was experiencing. He was having enough trouble figuring it out for himself; how could he explain it to someone else?

"Yeah, they're romantically involved with each other. But we're all still good friends," he said slowly, almost to himself. He tried to organize his jumbled thoughts so he could explain it more coherently.

"What is the purpose of having friends if one has already found a suitable companion who serves as both a romantic partner and a friend? It is inefficient."

"No, it's not. Humans function better if they have friends, a social support network. It makes us stronger, more connected with each other. Just like the Borg collective is made stronger by every individual that it assimilates." He wasn't really sure if that was a good comparison to make, but fortunately she didn't question it.

"Lts. Paris and Torres have a strong connection with each other. They spend nearly all of their free time together," she pointed out.

_Like I didn't know that,_ Harry thought sourly to himself. But he pushed that thought aside. He had to clear up a few of her misconceptions.

"Just because Tom and B'Elanna are romantically involved with each other now doesn't mean that they've stopped being friends with me. We've been through a lot together, and they mean a lot to me. I value their friendship tremendously. And I know that they feel the same about me, even if they haven't been showing it as much lately. I still spend time with both of them, individually or together."

It was true, Harry realized. Despite the recent changes, he was secure in the knowledge that Tom and B'Elanna cared about him and were still his friends. He still frequently dined with them in the Mess Hall, played hoverball with them, relaxed in the resort program with them. They still came to him for advice, or just to talk about their problems. They needed him. It would take some more time for all of them to completely adjust, but they would manage. That was what human relationships were all about. Harry's spirits rose as he thought about all this. He felt as though a huge burden had been lifted from his soul. He was grateful to Seven for making him realize it and sort things out.

"Intriguing. Commander Tuvok often claims that such human sentimentality is unnecessary, that it is possible to have effective affiliations while remaining emotionally detached. And yet, humans seem to place inordinate value on emotional attachment," Seven commented.

_She's been spending too much time with Tuvok,_ Harry realized with a twinge of annoyance. And jealousy. _Why is it that Tuvok always has better luck with the women I'm interested in?_ he thought, scowling to himself. First Marayna, and now Seven. Exactly what did they find so fascinating about Tuvok, anyway? It wasn't as if Tuvok were even trying to attract these beautiful women. He was married, with children. He probably even had grandchildren by now. Harry shook his head, trying to focus his attention on Seven and answer her question.

"Tuvok doesn't always understand how emotional attachment enriches friendship. Humans usually find emotional attachment necessary for friendship." Harry hoped that he was getting through to her.

Her brow furrowed.

"Human relationships are highly complex. I find that I often do not understand the nuances and subtle aspects of such relationships."

"That's all right," he reassured her. "It's not supposed to be easy. Human relationships are always complicated. A lot of other people have trouble figuring it out, too_." Like me, _he silently added to himself.

He was tempted to ask her to join him on the Holodeck to observe and learn more about human interaction, maybe in the Paxau resort program where everyone liked to hang out, but he hesitated, fearing that she might take it the wrong way. He just wanted to spend some time with her, get to know her better. He couldn't figure her out. She seemed to appreciate his company when they were together, but she also kept him at a distance. It was as though she wanted to be with him, but didn't quite know how. He felt so awkward with her at times. But maybe she really didn't know what to do. This dinner seemed to be going pretty well so far.

_What would be the best way to get through to her?_ he wondered. _How do I show her that I care and that I want to be with her without coming across as coming on too strong? _He racked his brain, trying to come up with something. _Well, maybe I should just try to treat her kindly as I would anyone else,_ he finally thought. Though that was easier said than done, it still seemed to be the best way to win her over. He took a deep breath and plunged in.

"So what are your plans for this evening, Seven?" he asked as neutrally as he could manage.

"Plans?" she echoed, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, you have the evening off, right? Did you have anything fun planned?"

"No, I did not," she replied matter-of-factly as she finished her pleeka rind casserole. She paused a moment, then asked, "Do you have any suggestions?"

Harry mulled that over for a moment, trying to think of the best way to phrase his next sentence.

"Well... most people relax in the Holodeck. There's a great resort program that's really popular," he told her.

"A resort program," she repeated. He nodded patiently.

"Have you ever been there?" he asked, anticipating her answer.

"No, I have not." Her answer was just as he had expected.

"Would you like to join me on the Holodeck later? 1900 hours?" Harry asked her nervously, uncertain as to how she'd react. "There should be a lot of other people there, and it's a great place to learn more about human interaction." Seven tilted her head slightly, regarding him intently with piercing blue eyes, as though she were trying to figure him out.

"That is acceptable," she said at last. Relieved, Harry let out the breath he'd been holding. He beamed at her.

"Great! It'll be fun," he said enthusiastically. She nodded.

"I will meet you in Holodeck One at 1900 hours, Ensign," she said in parting. Harry nodded his assent, his eyes never leaving hers. He could swear that she had a hint of a smile on her face. He left the Mess Hall grinning from ear-to-ear, happier than he had been in a long time. There was hope for him yet.

The End


End file.
